How to Control Anger with Anger Management Techniques

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How to Control Anger with Anger Management Techniques

Is it Normal to be Angry?

It’s natural to get angry. Whenever something happens or does not happen as per one’s choice, one can get angry. Similarly if someone’s behavior, remarks, action or no action is not on the desired lines and is rather upsetting, it can make the person lose his temper and make him very angry.

Why Anger Management?

It is normal to get angry once in a while. But if you get so angry that you start burning with rage and you cannot control or you get angry too frequently and too soon, then it becomes a matter of concern.
Many times the angry behavior can cause a lot of materialistic loss or damage to the relations.

How to Control Anger with Anger Management Techniques

In a fit of rage, a person may sometimes do something terrible which can make him repent for life time. So in this article we shall discuss how to control with Anger Management Techniques.

We have divided this article into two parts. First, what to do in the situation when is already very angry. The second is about not letting ourselves get angry. This calls for being proactive as we know that there is a need for Anger Management.

Part I   Controlling Anger

Here are simple ways to control when you are already angry.

1. Do not Give Any Reaction

Next time when you are angry, first recognize that you are in a state of anger. After that all you have to do is stop yourself from doing anything or speaking for a while. No matter what someone says to you or about, you should just refuse to respond.

2. Do Reverse Counting

To stop yourself in anger, you count from 50 to 1 in your mind slowly. You will see that after a few moments, your anger may not be as intense as it was initially, rather it will gradually decrease.

3. Do Deep Breathing

When the person gets angry, the physical body especially the muscles get very tense. This is the natural reaction of the body. To correct this, it is necessary that you move to a quiet corner, loosen your body and take long breath deep breaths. Breathe in and breathe out, inhale slowly and exhale slowly. Do this couple of times, say 5 to 7. This will help you to relax and control anger.

4. Get out or go away from that place

Suppose you are at a place with many friends or relatives. And one of them goes on criticizing you or tries to pull you down without any rhyme or reason. Naturally this makes you very angry. Lest you do not do anything in a fit of anger, it will be wise for you to get up and go away from that place. This will help you to shift your attention to on something else.

If you can do this, you will have not one or two but at least five benefits. One you will avoid an unnecessary debate. Second, you will be successful in not letting the anger dominate you. Third, you will see that after some time the person will calm down and will also stop speaking ill of you. Fourthly, since the acrimony will not last long it will not adversely affect the relationship. Fifth your friends and relatives will start seeing you as a very decent, intelligent, matured and sensible person. This will boost your image.

Part II   Proactive Approach

Now let us talk about the steps and tips to ensure that we do not get angry easily ever.

1. Know the Reasons for your Anger

First of all it is important to know the reasons you get angry or what are the causes of your anger. The advantage of this self analysis and introspection will be that we will know whether the situation is in our control or beyond our control.

If the anger causing triggers or the stimuli are controllable then definitely something should be done. Suppose we cannot do anything then let us go to tip no. 2.

2. Change Yourself

Let us take a specific situation of the traffic on the roads and the irritating behavior of some drivers.

When you drive your car on the road, someone overtakes you from the wrong side or sometimes a driver keeps honking on you from behind. This might make you very angry.

Now you know that you cannot do anything about such people. But you can change your thinking. Next time when a similar thing happens, just visualize that there is a funny mask on his face or the lady has grown moustache. This little trick with your mind will amuse you a bit. Just smile. This will also reduce the anger and you will not even get into a road rage.

3. Change your Action and Style of Operating

I once had a Secretary who would do almost opposite of what he was told. If I told him to send the samples to the Head of Marketing, he would have them delivered to Head of Purchase. If he was told to fix up the meeting with a client in our office, he would inform the client that the meeting would take place in client office.

Naturally this would make a busy executive very angry.

Then I thought of something. Instead of giving oral instructions, I’d write it down on a piece of paper and make him repeat to me that what is to be done. This reduced the probability of mistakes by 95% and thereby there was no room for anger.

5. Pay Attention to Food You Eat

You are what you eat.

You may have noticed that some days you feel quite normal, healthy and relaxed while someday you are very uneasy. This is because our diet very much affects our mind and emotions. Some types of food bring mental anxiety and discomfort in the body. Therefore, staying away from red meat, spicy and oiled foods will help you to control anger and stay relaxed.

6. Let go of Your Bad Habits

If you smoke, drink alcohol or do the drugs etc., then you know that these things certainly have a bad effect not only on your health, but also on your brain. Therefore, work on it and give up these addictions as soon as possible. This will improve mental condition very much and will definitely reduce anger.

7. Keep the Mind Calm

Anger is a kind of response or reaction of your heart and mind in response to an external situation. Therefore, it is necessary that we make it a habit to keep our body relaxed  and mind calm. Just chill and stay cool.

Please do refer to How to Calm down Mind

In short, please make sure that you regularly do some physical activity such as yoga, exercise, dance, morning walk etc. Also do mental exercises like meditation, sitting still, observing your breath etc.

Also see:

Doing so releases a lot positive energy, so that you can easily stay away from anger and stay fresh.

8. Get Enough Sleep

Are you depriving yourself of your normal sleep quota? According to a research, if a person is deprived of his full sleep for many days, then the lack of sleep can make him irritable. Not getting enough sleep can also give headache and stress. We scream and shout at others inexplicably. Therefore, you should take time off your busy routine and get proper sleep for 7 to 8 hours because sleeping is essential for good health.

Please refer to: Meditation Techniques to Help Relax and Sleep Better

9. Talk to Someone Close

Talk to a friend, partner, parents or sibling can help you to give a vent to your pent up feelings. It is very necessary to give a vent to your bottled up feelings. There may be someone who is annoying or perhaps there is situation which makes you go mad with anger. Rather than suffering silently, why not share your problem with someone you trust. It would be good to talk your heart out; this will make your head and heart lighter.

10. Sort out the Misunderstandings

If you are angry with your spouse or a friend or a relative, call him or her. Sort out the differences, clear out the misunderstandings by talking about it. But make sure you talk in a calm, composed and matured way. Try to understand each other and see things from each other’s perspective. Finish off the grudges and the anger you are holding in your heart for that person.

11. Learn to Forgive

Sometimes it is good that you forgive those people who have hurt your feelings.

12. Take Help of a Counselor

Last but not the least, if things are still not working out then you should seek professional help. Depending on the levels and types in your country, see a counselor or a psychotherapist or a medical doctor. Self help is alright but do not ignore the symptoms if they persist.

To Sum Up

I hope these small tips will be very beneficial for you and will prove to be very effective. Convince yourself that anger is your biggest enemy.

But do not suppress your anger. On the contrary, identify the causes of your anger and try to find solution so that you can get rid of anger causing triggers or stimuli.

Once you are able to conquer anger, then you will feel yourself. You will find that the relationships become so beautiful and life is a blissful heaven.

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